What is it all about?

On the morning of the attack on Ukraine, like many of us, I felt this immense grief and this great feeling of powerlessness, then anger, and then finally fear, that moment of panic when you tell yourself that tomorrow will be you, that your life could end there.
At that moment, as naive as it may sound, the first thing I said to myself was "but I can't die, I haven't made any stained glass yet!
I stayed with that for a while, and instead of judging myself on the futility of that thought, I set myself in motion.
I've been turning over everything in my flat for a few days now, sorting, making room to set up my stained-glass studio.
When I told a friend about the thought that came to me at the idea of dying, she replied, "Wow, that's an accomplished life.
This sentence was a great gift because I hadn't realised it myself.
It's true, at least it's true at this moment, everything can change very quickly and I might not have said the same thing a month ago, but yes, if I were to die today, not having made stained glass windows would be my only regret.
I love the life I have created for myself, after spending the last few months travelling around looking for the next city that could welcome me, I finally realised that it was me that I was looking for or rather running away from in this endless quest, as if a city/the outside could fill the emptiness that I felt inside.
Today I feel at peace with myself and this peace has transformed my vision of what surrounds me... if I am good with myself, I am good anywhere.
As for the rest, I have no doubt that the people I love know that I love them, I live far away from my family but when we get together we make sure we share quality time together. I have no unfinished business that would leave a taste of remorse, no regrets about how I use my time, nor about the life I have chosen to live so far.

For years I have questioned my activity, asking myself "but what is the point of what I am doing? I'm making jewellery when the world is in trouble!
And since then, life has taught me that there is no such thing as futility.
I see every day what beauty brings to my life, its necessity, its impact on my well being, and the one of others.
So yes, I will create beautiful things even if the world goes wrong, and I will continue to share them with you, because that is what my life is about.

With lots of love <3

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